My Top Ten Life Things and cars

First the car

I drive a 1986 manual Toyota MR2. I would like to get some sort of hybrid sports car. I would like to get a hybrid because I think our oil dependency is slightly ridiculous. I would really like a solar powered car, that would be cool. I want a sports car because they are the easiest for me to drive. I know that is because I have driven mine for so long, but that is how it is. I wish I could give more people rides so I wish that created a car that was small but had passenger room. SO i guess I want a car of unlimited holding. A clown car of sorts. I have my grandfathers truck at the moment and I like it because I can give people rides move things and it has air conditioning but I find my own car much better because I can fit a lot in it, I can move me and a friend from point a to b and well windows were made to be open. i think that cars should be simply for point a to point b transportation because if they were I think people would allow better for public transportation. but as it stands cars are used as a status symbol. I mean everyone knows that I have a pos car and make fun of me for it. I get pulled over more because I look poor and that makes cops think subconsciously that I am up to no good. I wish that people had electric cars and only used them for long trips and that for short trips we used buses bikes and well our own damn feet. Sadly, however, we seem to think that owning a car is an important thing so no one uses the public transportation, so no one give it funding so it breaks down so they move even further saying public transport if for the riff raff that cannot have cars. Cars can give you an elite status and I don't see a change coming, everyone knows when a car passes if it is a "rich person car" an "average person car" or a junker.

Next on to my top ten which are slightly odd. So I was thinking about my top ten things ever, I know that it is mostly just a reflection of who I am at this very moment and that likely tomorrow it will all change again. However, this is my current top ten things ever. The way I made this list is that I just started to type out everything in life that made me smile. After I had a pretty good list I began to group those together in to what I felt were rational categories. After that I had to rank them, that was the hard part. Also toward the end I got some more specific because they could fit in with other categories but made me smile more to have them on their own so I guess I should add ignoring my own categories to my favorites too oh well... So here it goes

1-People-

Formed of People, Friends, and Family

I love people, I love to watch them to see how they interact to see how they do things. I would get so bored if I could not observe people. More than I like people I love friends. I never used to hold friends in high regard. To me they were always just a way to pass the time. However, very recently I have had some very stubborn friends( you know who you are) and they have made me open my eyes to see just what friend are, and what friends good friends are is family. Family is life. You cannot live without your family there helping you through. The world was not meant to be gone through alone. Family is your support; they are the people who push you harder than you want to be pushed because they know it is what you need. They are the people who can sit there while you cry and never let on that they saw a single tear. They are the people who will let you go off on a completely irrational rant because they know that at the end of it you will come to your senses. Family is the blood that runs through your veins, the air that fills your lungs, the gray matter between your ears, and the soul that fills your empty shell. I don’t know where I would be with out both my real family and the people who became my friends and found their way into my new family. That makes them my number one.

2-Nature (Land Features)

Formed of Water and Trees.

Nature, she seems to be the curer of all ales. I don’t know what it is about nature but I love it so much. If I could I would spend the rest of my life living in the water. There is something so moving about water, it has so much power, force and anger, yet it can be calm, smooth, and life saving. It can really do anything and I hold a lot of respect for that. It is hard to do much of anything in this world yet water manages to do it all. My favorite place on earth is this patch of woods near where I grew up and there is a river running through it. It brings me back to Earth and that is important to me. I think that part of my attachment with nature has to do with the fact that I grew up with out a religion. For me any time anything went wrong I turned to nature and she was always there waiting for me.

3-Nature (Weather)

Formed of Rain, Storms, and Sunshine

One of my most profound experiences was the night my grandmother died. Those who know me know that I don’t cry much, now I do way more than I used to so I am improving but slowly. Anyway, the night my grandmother died was an emotionally exhausting moment for me. She had led a great life and died in a horrid slow manner, I was outraged at the world for the way she had to die, and I was outraged at the world because of how fast I had to grow up to care for her and my family. The night she died I was so confused because I was happy because she didn’t have to suffer anymore but so mad because I had lost her. I had not cried for three years and on that night I finally let it all out. But I couldn’t cry in front of my family because I felt I had to be strong for them so I went out side of my window and held myself and cried, after a while, it started to snow just that fluffy soft snow, it fell all around me and on my face raw from tears, it was so southing, it encompassed me in it and gave me what I needed that I could not ask my family for. It led to a great snow storm and I knew that that was nature’s gift for me. It was remembering my grandmother and trying to give me what comfort it could. I also love storms because my mom and I used to sit out at the lake and watch thunderstorms the lightning hitting the water. I miss those times with my mom when she and I could just be and it didn’t matter what else had happened in our lives. I almost forgot Sunshine, sunshine makes the list because well just go sit in the sun and you know, you cannot help but smile in really truly good sunshine.

4-Tales-

Formed from, Books, Stories, Dreams, Imagination, Music, and Movies.

I love being in a different world. When I watch movies or read books I am transported to a different place. Even with the worst written books I can feel the wind in my face, I am on their ship, or standing next to them, or whatever they are doing I am there. I love that I love to get away. I love to take vacations in those places. Along with that I love dreams and imagination because they let you go to those places they let you truly feel what you are exposed to with those different ideas. Music has the same power you can connect with it and it takes you away from what you need to escape from. I have always had an overactive imagination, as a kid I watched sailor moon and I think I am still very much like her. I get caught up in some crazy daydreams and sometimes forget about the real world. Granted she had a crazy life to go along with us but whatever I will take what I can get not everyone can be a superhero!

5-Interactions-

Formed from Hugs, Smiles, Children’s Hands and talking.

I realize that this is getting very long so I will try to make everything else shorter. I love interacting with people. I love hugs they fix everything. My favorite hug is when you really don’t want a hug because you a so upset but your good friends know if they just hold on to you long enough they can pull you through. I love those, Smiles, I love smiles because well they are contagious and when you smile you get to see a slightly different world. I LOVE children’s hands, I love the idea that they are still exploring, I love knowing how much they have yet to learn, I also love the fact that no matter how many times they wash their hands they have dirt, or markers, or clay, or food on them, children truly know how to experience the world and their hands remind me of that. I think too often we forget how to actually experience things. And talking, I love it for more reasons than I could start to explain but it goes along with why I love people. I like to see how people work and talking to them is a good start.

6-senses-

Formed of Sound, Smell, Colors, and shapes.

This one is mostly made of things I don’t fully understand why I love, I love hearing things from the wind in the trees, to a computer fan. I love that through the world you really don’t encounter silence unless you are alone in a really deep cave that has been cleared of animals or some artificial place. Having sounds is a comfort. Smells are the same way everything has some sort of smell even water (I consider the absence of smell a sort of smell). I love colors, and shapes and patterns. Actually patterns can calm me down when I go overly OCD if I can just find an object that has some sort of pattern on it I can study it and then go over it in my mind first I go really fast and then I slow it down until I can stop, that’s when I am done.

7-Dancing-

I love to dance. I love ballet, I love Jazz, I like out at the club dancing or alone in your room or dancing with your dad. Dancing is so great because A. you can get all your emotions out, B. it is a great way to connect with someone and C. it is so beautiful.

8-Driving on a warm summer night with the windows down-

I love this. It is the best feeling around and if you have good friends all talking and some good music in the back ground it is perfect. The only thing better is if you do it in a rich neighborhood on trash night. I love to dumpster dive but no one here seems to be jumping on that bandwagon.

9-The smell of old books-

I love the smell of old book like in a library. It just brings a peace of mind to me that cannot be topped. I like to go to the stacks in the back of the library and just run my hands over the rows of books breathing in their greatness feeling their embossing under my fingers. Oh old books, why can’t we make them so great anymore, leather bounds with the gold along all the pages… Books they deserve better treatment than we give them today they always stand up for us.

10-working-

Lame right? Who says they love to work. I don’t really love my job but I love to work because I feel like I am actually accomplishing something. I love to like can vegetables, or build things, or working in the fields, mowing the lawn, I like when I have paperwork, it seems like so much of what I do is just passing time until the next thing. But good hard working makes you feel accomplished. I like to know that even if I have not changed the world I have left an impact even if it is so small it cannot be measured.

Alright that was this moment top ten so this is me on August 31, 2007 at 6:17 pm. I hope you enjoy it and sorry it is so long of an entry.