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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Modern Man's Hustle

Happy Halloween all, what’s your costume? I'm a housekeeping manager and a student - creatures of the night, for sure. So my last post asked the pressing question - what is your dream future? Well, the key to my response is the number three - as in branches of my enterprise, places of residence and children. What I've prepared to write up here is quite the impressive guru lifestyle - prepare to be impressed.

First, a brief history lesson - Speedway bought the Republican party (presidential nods are only 25000 Speedy Reward Points, dinner at Applebee's is still 32000), the Democratic party went bankrupt and President Google has denied the party of welfare benefits. During World War III, China briefly controlled the world, however after finding that the rest of the world was lazy, they only kept Japan. North America reformed into a solid union, but they just combined Canada with Alaska and Mexico with New Mexico because nobody wanted to try to rewrite "fifty nifty..." In Europe, Prussia rose from the ashes of the European Union and has become an industrious powerhouse. Oh yeah - Disney bought Cuba and Taco Bell bought the moon. Oh, the future!

Now, I realize I asked for a future without resource limitations, but I don't se myself being happy without being a productive (warning - relative term) member of society. Thus, I am the sole owner of Hart Enterprises. Hart Enterprises is broken into three branches - Driftwood Media, Sandbox Amusements and Lynx Athletics.

At the core of my enterprise in Driftwood Media which has become the epitome of cultural advancement. Starting with a small music store with a cheap recording studio in the back, Driftwood Media was born from these humble beginnings known as Colby F Records (home to such powerhouse bands as The Covers, The Smiling Politely and Captain Bringdown and the Buzzkillers). Driftwood Media went on to encompass, either through creation within or corporate merging, Evergreen Publishing (books), Classic Horror Productions (movies) and it's subsidy, Gondry Pictures, Fairchild Galleries (art), Kahlan Designs (fashion) and after purchasing a portion of Fox, the Primetime Animation Network which features the Simpsons, Futurama, Family Guy, and the Critic twenty-four/seven. Driftwood Media also includes a computer department known primarily as Arrested Development, which headed the development of the Daemon gaming console and it's successful sequel, the Hexed-Daemon system (with six times the computing power). A software division within Arrested Development is known as Bad Hair Games and is a leader in it's own respective field.

International headquarters are located in Cleveland, OH in a twin tower complex known as Nona and Myra. On the first floor of the Nona Tower, one can find the original Colby F Records as well as a Fairchild Gallery and a Salt Lick restaurant around the back. There is also a single entrance into the exclusively hip underground bar, Moderation. In the second tower, Myra, houses the world's first fully automated valet parking garage. With the exception of Fairchild Galleries, which can be found worldwide, every Driftwood Media company is housed entirely within the two towers, in addition to offices for Driftwood Media's sister companies, Sandbox Amusements and Lynx Athletics.

Sandbox Amusements was the cornerstone to my company's growth during Driftwood Media's rebellious teenage years. Sandbox Amusement is, again, divided tree ways into Skylark Park, Pembrook Hospitality and Earphoria Electronics. Skylark Park is a trend setting amusement park in Louisiana, which has come to dominate it's region and plans of new parks in Australia and Germany are planned. Pembrook Hospitality runs Talim Hotel Towers and Dragonfly Inns, in addition to Salt Lick restaurants and Moderation bars globally. Earphoria Electronics, a home theater designer which specializes in digital sound excellence.

The final chapter in the Hart Enterprises trilogy is Lynx Athletics which is still in it's infant stages of development. Currently the company focuses on bowling equipment (balls, shoes, bags, clothing, etc...) but they are currently working on the latest in lane technology - a project code named Alice (Automated Lanes Integrated Coaching Entity). The premise behind Alice is simple - better bowling through knowledge. The present center points of the Alice is in the patented replay and analysis system, giving individualized coaching to every player based on technique, statistics and lane conditions. Alice Lanes are networked together to provide in depth information nationwide. Alice has been coveted as a breakthrough for the sport. However, the future is still uncertain for Lynx Industries as they continue to attempt to expand their market. Executives are rumored to be looking into the purchase of an NFL team while other reports indicate the desire to open an indoor football league. Either way, success is all but guaranteed, we'll just have to wait and see what the future holds.

So that is my guru future - kind of a mix of a business profile and a personal look into my fictional, futuristic world - sorry for the combination of styles, might have been a bit confusing but I think you all get the point.

Now as every successful businessman knowns, besides the grocery list of business ventures, the whole point of that ridiculous company profile is living gloriously and hence - three homes! We (my family and I) have a country home in Michigan, an apartment at the top of Nona Tower in Cleveland, and a houseboat normally docked in Miami, FL which we use to relax around the Caribbean and Gulf of Mexico every summer. The first home is used by the family nine months out of the year as the children go to school and whatnot, however during the autumn months I spend many weeknights in the Cleveland crib, running the business and the what have you. For Christmas the entire family comes to Cleveland to spend the holidays in the city and most fall weekends are spent flying across the nation as we are Miami Dolphin season ticket holders, naturally. For the remainder of the school year, the entire family stays together in the Michigan home. The summers are spent either on our boat or simply traveling around the globe visiting the wonders the world has to offer.

Now let's go through home by home and examine what makes each one unique - now I'm not going to bore you with a virtual walk through, just a brief description of some of the unique features of each and then we'll move on. Starting in Michigan, we have an impressive amount of land right on the coast of Lake Michigan. The breakfast nook on the first floor, shaped as a hexagon, extends upwards to form a lighthouse which is the focal point from the lake shore. We have a river that gently weaves it's way around the house, coming from a natural spring at the highpoint on the grounds and after cascading gently down a brick wall and then through a watermill connected to our guest house, it ripples its away through the thickly wooded front yard, beneath an old fashioned covered wooden bridge and after a moment of wide rapids, it joins the Great Lake. The house itself is built upon a hill, facing east and has two visible stories with a third hidden within the roof and a basement. The backyard is centered around an hourglass shaped swimming pool, shallow in the east and deep in the west with an underwater bar centered in the deep end. The floor of the shallow side is actually made of a thick clear polyurethane which makes up the sloping ceiling of the basement, giving the basement a unique tropical feel. The basement itself also has a fully stocked bar, in addition to a complete video library with movie theater style projection screen, a pool table, dart boards, a few choice arcade games and a small stage available for performances. There is also a recording studio beneath the staircase. The first floor has a generous banquet hall where we host our annual Christmas concert (the weekend after Thanksgiving). The kitchen is made up of the most modern appliances and solid marble counter tops (including bar style island) and the sunlight walkway out to the breakfast nook on the Northeastern point of the home. Finishing the first floor is the entry room with it's vaulted ceiling and grand staircase beneath super bulb chandelier, a library filled with wall after wall of bookcase and gorgeous fireplace, and even a secret room (pull the right book in the library...) which is known as the music library, more on this later. The second floor is made up of two studies (one for myself and another for Tori), the master bedroom and bathroom, and a balcony overseeing the pool and country night sky. The third floor is for the children, three bedrooms and a bathroom along with a study for them to do their homework. The roof is comprised entirely of solar panels which power the house, with a little extra to sell make to the county. The only remaining feature is the three car garage with a pair of bowling lanes across the back.

Our Cleveland apartment is, again, three stories. Located as the top three floors of the Nona tower, the apartment overlooks the entire city. The elevators opens to the second floor which is made up entirely of windows overlooking. On the first floor we find the master bedroom and bathroom along with a joint study for when we're in the city, the kitchen and dining room (studio designed). The third floor has four bedrooms (one for guests, three for the kids) and a bathroom for them to share. The only room on the second floor is a sports lounge stocked with full bar, bowling lanes and a Miami Dolphins paint scheme to make you queasy. All this in addition to the latest Daemon gaming system and latest version of Madden to go with our HD flat panel TV and fully surround sound from Earphoria. This sports lounge also houses the music library control panel (more on that later).

Finally, we have our houseboat. Honestly, this is probably our most modest residential investment. The catamaran style boat has two floors plus the cabin. The bottom floor is made up of bedrooms and bathrooms while the second floor is the kitchen and eating area. Most nights are spent sleeping on deck so little space is needed for living below. In the cabin we find the final music library control panel. Now, that music library control panel - I have a lot of music, right? I'm wealthy enough to disregard resources so it's only safe to assume that I have even more music, right? Well - all of this music is loaded onto a super computer located in the Michigan home. This music library is available to me anywhere worldwide thanks to a complex network of satellites I own thanks to my television network. The houseboat and Cleveland apartment have receivers hooked up to said satellites and hence, have access to my entire music library. Every room in every home has speakers built in - and with the music library control panel, every room can be playing a custom play list or sync up and play from the same play list! Oh the possibilities... So that is my living situation without resources...moving on.

My children - Tori and I have had three kids and while I won't go into details as doing so would make all this quite improbable since we cannot control the outcome of our procreation (yet) and thus, I shall only speculate on names and possible order. Our first child, a boy, will be named August Always and our second, another boy will Patrick Royce. Our third and final child, Veda Fairchild, will be our only girl.

Now comes the big question - this kind of unreasonable 'dreaming,' is it healthy? Is it natural? Should I just live in the now and see what happens? What this at all interesting to anyone but myself? I would like to do this in another five years to see how things have changed, how dreams evolved, etc...

Another topic, because I clearly have ADD - what are your thoughts on Astrology? Or, more specifically, the concept of the stars and other universal beings effected your personality? You all better start talking or I'm going to bury you in side topics. Sorry for the novel-esque post, shorter next time (but no promises). Ta.

Monday, October 29, 2007


Everyone read The Golden Compass, trust me - it's good.

Moving on, in response to your post Taylor, I like the idea, however I do see one major flaw in it and that is, how are you going to force someone to work to stay in prison? What is the consequence if they don't? It's not like they can just be released to the streets to be homeless...these people are criminals, after all. Now don't get me wrong, rotting in a jail cell is not being productive and if there's one thing that society thrives on it's the productiveness of the lowest social rung on the ladder to success, but that's not to say these people will work given the choice, and they do have a choice simply because there is no consequence otherwise. Right now, prisoners are given jobs as a kind of reward for good behavior, as the inmates see it as an escape from the mundane, they get to feel that productivity we all secretly yearn for. I completely agree though that making prison a lesser alternative than living on the street would be for the best...obviously we don't advise people to aim for homelessness, but if more homeless equates to less crime, I'll take the homeless, thank you.

Now, the whole privatization thing obviously is going to have some short-comings, and that's fine, I'm not saying getting rid of taxes all together because I do understand that most of that money does go to very beneficial budgets, I may not see physical evidence of it being put to good use, but I am of good faith that most of it is used productively. My beef is with the pointless bureaucratic money drains which I think would be mostly eliminated if the government was run more like a business and less like a government. If a business doesn't trim out it's wasted management, they die - the government just raises taxes, that's inexcusable. If we were operated more like the European nations where they pay as high as 50% of their income to taxes but everything is a public service, I'd have no complaints because I can see where that money is care and college education, etc...instead I'm funding a trillion dollar occupancy I was against in the first place! It just seems like the government sees themselves as a lot more powerful than the voice of the people, especially since the Patriot Act has been more successful at silencing the people than anything else. The truth is, I'm concerned...the dollar continues to plummet, jobs continue to flock to other nations and the only thing I see being done is another troop surge in Iraq and the sad thing is, I don't see any of the presidential candidates really turning that around...they may improve this or that, but we are on a very steep slope here and it might not be too long before we look into living elsewhere worldwide because America is no longer economically viable. I hate to look at things that grimly, but that's how I see it. Bummer.

On a side note, I have two new topics which we can discuss.

1) Now currently we use a flowing conversation system where we just post our responses or new topics (I must insist on stressing again, if you don't want to talk about what we're talking about feel free to post a brand new topic, or if you want to reply to something said months ago, bring it up again - evolving conversation with a splash of randomness is my target here). Now, my question is this - do we like our current system of evolving conversation, or would we like to look a bit more focused and clean and just respond via 'comment' to whatever topic is discussed and new posts are reserved for new topics? Personally, I like the current system but if it is intimidating or impersonal (both of which, I would understand), let me know and we can pound out a better system for all of us to participate equally and fully.

2) If you could live anywhere and anyway you want, regardless of resources, how would you live? For instance, would just travel worldwide or would you own twelve homes and just move from home to home constantly, would you live in LA and just go out every night? Where would your houses be and what would their main features be, etc...? What would you do with infinite resources and please be creative and thorough, or else my response will make you all look like chumps because, I'm warning you, I've got a shit load already in mind so be prepared. That's all for now, I didn't have Internet at home for three weeks, hence my absence, but I'm back now and plan on posting frequently, so please - all of you - come back and post often as well (also - invite your friends, we're slowly growing but we have to keep on it, the more the merrier). That is all for now, Wednesday my resource free life - ta.

Taylor said...

Taylor left me a comment on my most recent post regarding prisons, I felt it was a bit hidden there and thus, I repost for him here.

"First Post, I suppose fate lead me here today.
Hi, everyone. I'm an old friend of Nathan.

I had a similar idea for prisons. Along the same lines, but they should be run more like hotels. You get a bed, food, and cable TV. Why shouldn't you pay for it? I say, charge the prisoners rent. They can work in the factory to pay for it. No more tax money going into the prison system, and if prison wasn't such an attractive free ride, maybe there would be less crime. I don't have an facts or figures to support my arguments, so I suppose they are meaningless to educated folk, but it's just a theory. I'll leave it to someone else to prove.
On a side note, I think a private prison closed recently. I don't know where or why, I'll leave that to the same gerbils to retreive.

The only things that are hard to privitize are public goods (non-rival, non-excludable), which are those things that society requests, but the private sector is unwilling or unable to provide(i.e. national defense, road construction, etc.). Some things in this area work without government aid, though. For example: radio. Consumers don't pay for radio (the regular kind, anyway), the fact that my neighbor is using it doesn't prevent me from using it, yet it is still provided by the private sector. This leads to the obvious conclusion that the miltary can be privitized with advertising.
Just some quick thoughts. I guess I'll end this ranting with the trademark:

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Give me something to believe in...

I like your thoughts on privatization. It's a short post...I used up my opinion on another blog. As usual I'll post more later. I need time to collect some words that I want to string together right now.

Monday, October 1, 2007

The Beatles - All You Need is Love

Too true...too true, too bad State's don't run on happy feelings and sunshine, that would be sweet. So Michigan did not shut down and that's because our State's government decided that raising taxes is the only logical solution to the problem. This is exactly why I voted for DeVos...he's a business man, normally I go Democrat, but not when we have a struggling economy, a impending budget crisis and four mediocre at best sports teams - you need a business man in least solve two of those problems. So raising taxes, huh? Let's see...raises consumer costs, that'll reduce tourism to start, probably local spending to boot. So the economy struggles some more and down and down and down we go. Oh well - enough about Michigan and it's impending doom. Back to my privatization is key posts.

Let's go to prison! This one is already on the fast-track to getting the private sector booming again and why shouldn't it? Prison is a great source of cheap manual labor, plain and simple. Companies buy the rights to a prison, or hell, companies buy land and build their own long as it matches State regulation, it opens and bam! Companies have a brand new factory where they can pay unskilled workers under minimum wage to manufacture whatever it is they make. Of course, it'd be a calculated risk given the hazards and costs of running a prison, but that's just something the company will have to account in when building a facility like this. If they have to buy into the system, similar to the franchise build I set-up for the SoS offices, then that money can be used to fund the State's police forces and probably fire as well, although that's typically run on a city budget anyways. Next part of the State's budget that needs me help? Go!

Welcome back Brit, look forward to lot's of good posts - ta.